The Other Mirror

Sometimes a mirror turns a blind eye when we look at our image in front of it. It takes another person, someone who is close to us to reflect what we do and what we have become out of developing a habit.

I love to talk and I tend to overdo it sometimes. I admit that I have the tendency to monopolize talks in meetings, but I am doing it not because I want to grandstand or I am a “know-it-all-kind-of-person”, I just wanted to express how I feel and share ideas - popping like firecrackers on top of my head, as interesting topic sets in.

There are times, when I assess the impact of my behavior and try to observe what others feel about it, but maybe, with my nature of carefully choosing the right words and few jokes, I manage to get away with it. Being vocal gives me relief and I would like to think that if there is somebody to defend freedom of self-expression and speech during gatherings, it would be me.

The best way to describe myself during discussions is --- a person who wouldnt let a meeting finish without sharing an idea. Silence has become an obsession, because it rarely visits me.

You see, I am part of an organization which regularly meets on Fridays. Being in the country where women had to depend on men, my husband in this case--- is a must, for security reason and as obedience to law, my hubby would accompany me in meetings and will be left with no choice but join me in meetings as a silent observer.

He already knew that I would go through tremendous adjustments, when he decided to work here again in Riyadh. He was aware that having worked for 12 years in a corporate environment, the shift to becoming a plain housewife, is not as easy as when I said yes to him and vowed that I would choose to be with him, wherever he will be. But it was a choice and a mutually agreed decision, though just like other plans, it usually takes a different form in reality. With that in mind, my hubby was considerate and kind enough to look for groups and activities that would keep me occupied.

It so was fast, he enrolled me in a class, graduated and within that same year, I became one of the officers, a volunteer actually---making it necessary to participate in developing plans, deliberation and regular talks to further the organization.

It was in these meetings, when the Other Mirror surfaced. The Other Mirror, who silently watch me and patiently put up with the lengthy meetings ----my other mirror --- my beloved husband. He was very polite when he told me when we were home that I am starting to develop a habit that probably unknown to me. He said that my passionate nature for things have expanded to overly expressing my ideas. I was stunned when I realized what he was pointing at. I was like--- justifying my act initially, and reasoned out my freedom about expressing my idea.

Then the blow came when there was a sensitive issue in the group that we discussed and I had to tell the truth about how I feel, got carried away and hurt somebody in the process. I knew that I was just being honest that time but after that meeting, stress was all over me, the guilt haunted me the whole week. --- and I realized the mirror was right after all.

Lesson learned is that --- sometimes we have to choose between silence and belting out what we perceive is the truth, to avoid misunderstanding. Think twice and control our eagerness to say a piece of our mind because if we get impatient and just let it all out without thinking --- that would limit us to assess the impact of what we will say.

I was just too glad, I re-discovered my Other Mirror, the mirror, who will not lie and will always be bold to tell me my mistakes. The Mirror wrapped his arms around me and loving told me that I can always wipe the blemish, as long as I want to --- and that he will always be there to to tell me who I am...really.